The Hidden Language of Love at Taiwan’s Dining Table

If you ever find yourself at a family gathering in Taiwan, you might notice an interesting habit: people often scoop food onto the plates of others (maybe onto yours too, even if you don’t ask for it). This is not because someone is too lazy to serve themselves or cannot use chopsticks. It is actually a sign of respect and affection, deeply woven into Taiwanese dining culture. 

Growing up in Taiwan, I saw this all the time. At family dinners, my mom would automatically pick up a tasty piece of chicken or a perfectly steamed vegetable and place it on my grandparents’ plates. It is almost like an unspoken rule: never let the elderly go hunting for food themselves. This tradition comes from the Confucian value of filial piety, which emphasizes respecting and caring for your elders. 

But this gesture is not just for the elderly. In Taiwanese culture, it is also common to offer food to family members or close friends at the table. If you see someone’s plate is empty or there is a particularly delicious dish, you might automatically offer them a bite. Even the elderly will do this for the younger ones. It is a way of saying, “I care about you” and “I want you to enjoy this as much as I do.” 

When you compare this to meals in Western countries, the difference is striking. In many Western cultures, everyone typically serves themselves, no matter their age. If someone wants more of a dish that is far away, they might ask you to pass it to them by saying, “Could you please pass the potatoes?” It is rare for someone to put food directly onto another person’s plate, nor would others do this automatically. This practice of letting each person decide what and how much to eat reflects a broader focus on independence and personal choice. It is more like saying, “If you want more potatoes, help yourself!” 

This cultural difference highlights how food traditions shape family interactions. In Taiwan, mealtime is not just about eating. It is a time for family bonding. In cultures where people do not say “I love you” all the time, these gestures of placing food on someone’s plate are small but powerful ways of showing love and care. In Western cultures, giving each person the freedom to choose what is on their plate reflects a broader emphasis on individual autonomy. 

A Few More Taiwanese Table Manners to Know

Here are some other unique table manners in Taiwan:

• The Elders Take Their Seats First: No matter how hungry you are, wait for the eldest person to sit before you do. It is a sign of respect and sets the tone for the meal.

• Let the Elders Start Eating: Do not rush to grab your chopsticks as soon as food is served. Everyone waits for the seniors to take the first bite.

• Chopstick Rules: Never stick your chopsticks upright in your rice bowl because this looks like incense sticks at a funeral and is considered bad luck. Also, do not leave your chopsticks sticking out at an angle or use them to tap on bowls, as this is seen as rude or reminiscent of beggars asking for food.

So next time you are in Taiwan and someone puts a juicy piece of pork on your plate, do not be surprised. They are not trying to control what you eat. They are showing they care and making sure you feel welcomed and valued. And if you really want to fit in, go ahead and return the gesture. Just make sure you have good chopstick skills!